Unconditional love may seem like a heavy term for something most of us fail to understand. Let’s understand the very essence of this term in this article.
What is Unconditional Love?
Most of us believe that unconditional love means love without limits or boundaries, but that is not entirely true. Unconditional love means offering our love without an expectation of repayment. It means loving someone through hardships, mistakes, and frustration. Offering this type of unconditional love is a vital part of any long-lasting and meaningful relationship.
When we enter into relationships with other people, it is important to know that we are entering into a relationship with someone who has their own flaws and challenges. In return, we have our own flaws and challenges. When we offer this kind of love, we learn to out-focus these challenges and offer connection, love, and understanding for the other person. We try to move forward in a way both people win.
Is Unconditional Love Healthy?
Offering ‘no strings attached’ kind of love is healthy. Otherwise, we are just using our love and affection as an excuse to gain control. However, it is not healthy to offer love without any boundaries. Every relationship requires mutual respect, safety, and kindness for each other. If these basic boundaries are not fulfilled, it is also okay to set hard boundaries. These boundaries may sometimes include distancing oneself or having to remove yourself from the relationship. Unconditional Love does not mean that the other person is indebted to our love, but it does owe us mutual respect, kindness, and safety.
Here is what unconditional love with healthy boundaries might look like:
- “We love you and support you but we can no longer afford to pay your bills.”
- “I love you but I will have to take space from you when you talk to me that way”
How to love someone unconditionally?
The term “unconditional love” usually leaves us confused and places unrealistic expectations on the way we love. It might be easier to look at it as “wholehearted love”. This means offering our love just because we want to offer it, without expecting anything in return. It teaches us to love ourselves and our partner wholly. Listed below are a few points to remember when you offer love to someone unconditionally:
- Pay attention to the love you offer. Ask questions like ‘Am I expecting something in return?’ and ‘Has the other person become indebted to me?’. Try to offer love just because you want to.
- Be transparent with the other person. Let them know what you are expecting from them and allow them to be successful for you.
- Learn to really listen to the other person and show curiosity towards learning more. This means that you have completely integrated what the other person is saying, as opposed to just ‘hearing’ them.
- Make sure there is mutual respect and a feeling of safety in the relationship.
Unconditional love is a beautiful thing. However, you have to understand how to give it without it affecting your well-being. We hope this article has helped you understand what love really is. Thank you for reading and we wish you all the best!